Humility, Rebuke, and Repentence.

Wow! It's almost been a whole year since I last blogged, thats crazy. Where does the time go? Anyway, as most of you know, I was MIA from True North for about a month. It wasn't a happy time for me, in fact it was terrible. I am back though, so I want to thank anyone who prayed for me while I was gone.

The topic of this blog, is basically in the title, but it all relates to being hard-headed. Not being able to accept the things that people say. And while there is no excuse for it, there is a reason. Not many people know this, except for Bobby and Ryan D. but I'm manic depressive (also known as bipolar disorder), and when I have a bad mood swing, anything that anyone says, even a simple "Hey, what up?" can make me angry. And when that happens, I tend to shut everyone out of my life, and bottle things up; hoping that they'll pass overhead. I've now learned that that is a bad idea :/

About a month ago, I got into an arguement with Matthew Crane, and it didn't end very well. I was very angry, and because of my depression I decided to drive him away rather than listen to him. The Bible says in Col 3:12-

"As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience."

I had no humility, or patience. I was angry, so I pushed him aside and continued living my life the way I wanted to. I just want to say sorry for that, and if I did that to anyone else, I'd like to say sorry to them as well.

Thanks to Ryan Damato, I'm back to church. We had a few talks via phone, and he got me to come back to small groups, and with just one visit, I was plugged back in. I love it at True North, no place in the world compares. So now that I'm back, I'd like to hit that last subject in the title. I've been praying for forgiveness, and working on my relationship with God. And with everyone's help, I know that I'll be able to :]

As Ryan always pushes accountability, I'm going to ask for it here. Now that you know about my depression, when you see patterns in my life where I seem to be pushing people away, you'll know whats going on...and you can all help me out; keep me on track with God.

2TI 2:25 says:

"Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth"

Amen to that verse.

I just want sign off saying how great it is to be back, and how much I missed you all.

--[Saint_J]